January 16th

This is Jimmy Varn and my stinky ass is still alive.

Now that I am obsessing about my water, I notice how much I really stink. I have been wearing different clothes but even I can smell myself now. My head itches and my balls feel sticky. Today I am actually boiling water just so I can give myself a sponge bath. I can almost hear the generator groan as my precious power goes into making water bubble.

I practiced with the hand guns today. Instead of kicking my shoulder they are now punching my wrists. I never knew how much pain it took just to fire a weapon. The worse part was when an automatic actually pinch some skin between my thumb and forefinger when the top half of the barrel slide back. I nearly dropped it when it took my skin.

Fuck that hurt.

My aim is terrible with pistols. I couldn’t hit anything from my window. I thought about how shitty the pistol is for the Engineer in Team Fortress and I wonder if it is just the range. I guess I will just use it if I get cornered again.

I am packing three pistols and plenty of ammo. I thought about carrying a rifle but I doubt I will be able to carry my shooting table and comfy chair with me to hold it steady. I am taking a nice ass military knife that I found because it looks like it could fuck something up. I am carrying my backpack as well as the thickest coat I can find. I am also wearing a sweater and two pairs of socks. If anything bites me, it is going to take a while to get to the fleshy bits.

The reason I am thinking over my equipment is because I plan to go out tomorrow and see if I can hit a store or something. I want to hit a quicky mart, or a restaurant or god help me, a grocery story. I would abandon my water hunt if I could find a dozen boxes of Coke 12 packs. Nah, I would still get the water.

Today I am laying off the shooting just to give my hands a rest. I am also cooking my last cut of steak over the fire. I want to be full of protein for tomorrow. I want to be pumped and psyched.

I want to be so sated on steak so that I don’t realize how fucking scary this is.

This will be the first time I leave sight of Home Base in weeks. When I was holed up in the bookstore, we watched Hell Day through the big windows. We heard about it from friends and family on our cell phones till the lines went down. We saw the masses of zombies just attacking people in the parking lots. There are a lot of damn dead people out there.

I have to wonder about Chuck and Annie. They never came back. They went out on a little expedition and Chuck was a gun nut. What the Hell happened to them? Was it just carelessness? Chuck didn’t strike me as a brain trust. Or was there just too many fucking zombies?

Fuck. I do not like thinking about this. Chuck was a racist asshole who was hoarding barbecue charcoal but he was a tough guy. I feel a little presumptuous to think I can do better than him.

Shit, I can’t let me talk myself out of this. I got to get more water. My food isn’t looking that great either. I got two more pieces of fish and that is it for the meat. I will be down to canned goods and I know that ain’t healthy.

Tomorrow, I’ll go tomorrow.

I’ll leave in the morning, right at dawn. I want as much daylight as possible. My goal is to head down the street opposite from the direction that I originally came from. It will be new to me but hopefully it will have more stores than I saw coming in.

If I don’t blog tomorrow, you’ll know they got me.