January 28th

This is Jimmy Varn and mother-fuckers, I am still alive.

A damn gang of zombies nearly got me. I don’t know if they were the tail end of the zombie parade but there were ten of them shuffling down the street. I had found a wheelbarrow that looked like it had never been used in someone’s yard. I was carting a ton of shit out of someone’s front yard when I saw them.

They weren’t twenty feet away from me.

I screamed a little. I wasn’t expecting them. Other than Little Joe, the kid zombie who is always tree-climbing, I wasn’t expecting anything. In my mind I was enjoying a break from the parade ordeal.

I only had one pistol because like I said, I had gotten lax. I pulled it out, held it in both hands, and started shooting.

My aim was shitty. Worse, the shooting really got the zombies excited. They were all men, which I thought was weird but then again, I am hyper sensitive to noticing women these days. The more I shot, the faster they came. The faster they came, the more nervous I got and my aim got worse.

I should have ran for Home Base. I see that now but at the moment I was stupid. The wheelbarrow was there and it was too heavy to move fast. I had been looting the Screamers’ house and I found an honest to goodness Hot Plate which I was dying to try.

Ha, dying.

So I kept shooting and my gun jammed. It fucking jammed, just like in the movies. I didn’t know what to do with it. There were still five left at this point and one of them was right on me.

I swung my pistol at it and cracked its head. It stumbled and I backed off. The ax was sitting on top of the wheelbarrow and I snatched it up. I had decided to carry it with me as my backup weapon even though it didn’t do its last owner any good. This was a fact I that I was well aware of during this fight.

I was Conan the fucking barbarian. Well, except I was aiming lower. I learned the lesson that Dead Screamer didn’t get a chance to and that is skulls like to hold on to things but legs just give out. I kneecapped three of them real easy.

The last two however got too close while I cutting down the third zombie. I was dancing away from the crawling zombie when I realized the last two had me surrounded. They were too close for a good swing.

All I could was push at them. Zombies have surprisingly good balance. I think it comes from their lack of speed. I pushed and they mostly just leaned back while trying to grab me with their hands. Complicating matters was that the one I had just crippled had grabbed my leg and was trying t pull itself to bite me.

It is times like these that I know I really want to live. I pushed, shoved and kicked in a wild frenzy. There was nothing graceful about my moves. Terror fueled my strength and damn, I get pretty strong when I freak out. One zombie fell over and I couldn’t swing the ax but I could drop it on the arm of the one who had me by the leg. From there it was easier to get away from the last standing zombie.

My problem was that I was out of running room. The other zombies I had crippled were crawling towards me. I fucking wished I had brought two guns.

I heard someone saying promises. They promised that if they ever got out of this, they would always carry two guns. They promised they would pay more fucking attention. They promised to be careful. It took me awhile to realize it was me. It had been that long since I really spoke out loud.

I survived of course. It was slow going but I separated everyone from their heads. I won. My arms were killing me from swinging that ax but I lived.

Now I have to keep that promise to be more careful.