January 23rd

This is Jimmy Varn and my cold ass is still alive.

The zombie parade continues. Fuck. I am half tempted to load up on guns and go out there. I want to be like Rambo, doing my best to take out as many as I can. I can pretend I am doing my part for the future of humanity.

I would love to have a flamethrower. One last suicidal charge like a good Team Fortress Pryo.

Instead I stay here. I’ve taken up reading. It passes the daylight. Right now I am reading Richard Laymon’s ‘Island’ which is a fucking good read. It is first person and tells the story if a college kid who goes on the worse vacation ever with his girlfriend’s family. Murder and crazy shit is happening on every page. Also a whole lot of talking about sex.

Shit, remember sex? Remember when a woman’s breast held magical power and wasn’t just an empty sack of cold flesh hanging from a corpse? God, I have seen so many decomposed women walking around I didn’t think I would ever get wood again. Laymon’s writing gave me wood. I am actually grateful for it. I feel more human.

The best thing about the book is that it takes place on a tropical island that is hot, humid and nothing like a basement. Just reading about a sunburn warms me up. You know, the murdering and killing isn’t bothering me as much as I thought it would. It is something different when it is another person doing the killing. It’s personal. These zombies, they don’t give a fuck. They will kill you just as eagerly as they would kill a Boy Scout or the Taliban.

They just kill, and it makes it damn frustrating to think about loosing your life to something so fucking stupid and relentless. It is like being killed by wood rot or mold.

I wanted to talk about something else. I realized that if I had been more thorough with searching the houses around Home Base, I might have found those other survivors. Now I am not saying that if I were with them that they would still be alive, but who knows? Maybe they would have had more supplies for me? Maybe they knew something that could be really fucking useful about now.

The thing is, I went on a long distance scouting mission when I have what, a dozen houses on this street alone? If I was playing a videogame I would have never NOT explore my nearby surroundings before I went on a field trip. It is stupid and it was because I was hoping to hit it big with one trip to a store. No, I should exhaust the resources here. Hell, someone on this block might have a space heater which would be really awesome right now.

So this is my promise. If Sweet baby Jesus with his diaper full of poo can make these fucking zombies go away, I promise to loot the houses near me in a systematic manner. I am transferring the entire wealth of the neighborhood to Home Base. It will take a lot of work and it will mean spending more time outside than in, but I do not want to starve to death on bleached water.