February 17th

This is Jimmy Varn and I am still alive. And hopefully a little less whiney.

I woke up this morning and I don’t know; but I just had felt I had my shit together. I mean, I have a fireplace; I have more guns than I know what to do with and I got lots of canned food. It might sound odd, but I felt proud this morning. I realized that Crystal did a number on me and stole my shit because I had shit to steal.

I got up and gathered the water from all the other houses with gutters. We had set up six receivers and all of them were full. I emptied them into the big barrel and brought it inside. It is a nice large amount of water and I am pretty pleased. I’m using a fishtank net to strain the larger bits of crap off the water and I am boiling the rest.

I replaced the water containers back at the gutters. If it rains again, I hope to get another large load.

This afternoon I plan to go on the roof and try to spray paint a message. I was thinking of something like ‘Survivor’, but that is a long ass word. I might just paint ‘Help’. I haven’t decided. I just want to put something there. I haven’t seen any helicopters or planes but fuck, if one goes by I don’t want it to pass me.

The thing about Crystal is that she hurt me bad, but she made me realize how badly I have to find people. I can’t just wait for another person to stumble onto me and take my shit. I need to find these people. I need to stay alive and find help. I don’t want to end up like Crystal, living day to day. I have to have a plan. I have to believe I am working toward something.

Which means I need to do a lot more gas siphoning. I am running low again. I was thinking about the quickie mart and the gas pumps. I am not sure if the pumps are running but there has to be a way to get inside them. If I can fill up a wheelbarrow full of gas, I can really build up a stockpile.

I also need to find another bike. Maybe I will chain it up in my house next time instead of just leaving it in the hallway.

I caught myself looking for Crystal when I am outside. I want some sort of explanation. Fuck her. She looted my company like I loot houses for canned food.

Logging off to eat lima beans.