February 2nd

This is Jimmy Varn and I am still alive.

I finished Corbin’s grave and dumped him in it. I sort of pushed him onto a dusty blanket and dragged him down the attics stairs and out of the house. The blanket got dumped with him. Covering him went a lot faster. To be honest, I just wanted to get that shit over with. The more time I spent burying him, the more time I spend thinking about his suicide.

I paused to say a few words and realized I had nothing. Me and God have not been on speaking terms. When I think of God, I think of the bearded bastard my Mom worships. I think of the crazy old man in the sky who gives people the urge to fuck whomever they want and then damns them to Hell for doing it. I think about what kind of sick bastard would running around. God wasn’t some strict parent, he was fucking Eli Roth and this world was one big horror fest for him to get his socks off.

So after I ruled out a religious service, I thanked Corbin for the porn and wished him some peace.

It was cold last night and keeping the fire going was hard with all the little pieces of wood I had. I decided to quit fucking around with collecting twigs and I took the ax to some of the houses near me. I chopped up a deck, some decorative wooden columns and a swing set for firewood. It was pretty fun to go all destructive on some of the houses. The living room is turning into a mess of outside wood that I have gathered.

The faucets stopped producing water. Just to be sure, I went out and tried the water in some of the other houses. They had a little in their systems and I made sure to collect it before they went dry. I made a list of the houses I have cleaned of water and which houses I need to go to. Just another fucking thing I need to gather.

I am worried about what the water means. I guess it means no one is keeping the water treatment going. It might also mean that a pipe burst somewhere and there is no one around to fix it. For an hour all I could think about was how I could go and fix it. These crazy plans kept coming to my mind about finding the water cleaning plant and figuring out the process. It was stupid, but at the same time I kept thinking about it. Desperation has me thinking all sorts of shit.

Tell you one thing; I really regret all those toilet flushes. Right now I am taking my business outside in my neighbor’s yard, and then covering it with a shovel of dirt. I definitely need a better solution. How the fuck does an outhouse work anyway? Is it just a hole in the ground?

In the mean time, I need to find a source of water. I am thinking about collecting rain water. I might just the barrel out in the yard and scoop rainwater out of it. The thought of bugs or birds taking a bath in it does not appeal to me in the least.

Oh well, time to enjoy my delicious hot meal of frozen pizza cooked over an open fire. Thank Sweet baby Jesus and his Pacifier of Gold that I have those chocolate chip cookies. Three cookies a day wipes away any crappy meal I make.