February 28th

This is Jimmy Varn and I am still alive.

This morning I pretty much snapped. Either I was used to the zombie moans or it seemed like they were really quiet. The footsteps were still outside, and someone was still knocking on my outside door. But as for the parade, I had the feeling they were gone.

So that is what was going through my mind when I peeked out the basement windows. I saw three zombies in the lawn but I couldn’t see who was banging my door. I decided to go for it.

I swung the outside door open with a pistol in my hand and six in my pockets. It was fucking Annie. I have never been so glad to see a zombie. If I die, she was going first.

One shot to the head took her down. Two more shots kept her down. They weren’t necessary but it felt good.

The zombies in the lawn saw me. They looked huge but I found out later it was just their winter coats. At first I thought I had some fucking linebackers here.

It didn’t matter. I was like a machine. I took aim, fired, and took aim again. Years of playing Team Fortress like a spaz but when it came time to clean zombies, I was an ice cold assassin. I wish I was this good in videogames.

With the lawn zombies dead, I waited in the doorway. If my gunshots were going to draw zombies, I wanted to know now instead of when I was away from the basement. I waited five minutes and man, that was not easy.

No zombies came to investigate the shots.

I walked around front. There were about a dozen zombies hanging around. Everything was trashed again. All the corpses I had been piling up were pulped by the parade. Fences were knocked over and there was even a tree knocked down. The street was a disaster.

I went to work. Nice and slow, I shot zombies. If I missed with a headshot, I went for the leg. Headshots are easier when they are crawling. They all came for me but that was fine. The closer they got, the easier the shot.

One gun jammed on me but other than that I was cool. I had plenty of guns. When they were all dead, I reloaded and went to the front door.

Those bastards had caved in the door. I was already checking the damage on the frame. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fix it. I wasn’t even mad. It just made me eager to start cleaning.

Shooting zombies in a house is different from the street. They are a lot closer and I always get the feeling one of those fuckers will sneak behind me. They were also packed in there pretty tightly. I barely aimed as much as I shot into the crowd and kept firing till no one was left standing.

Fuck, that was just the living room. Home Base was slammed with the undead fuckers. I had to leave the house twice just to reload. I don’t think I have ever fired my gun that much and it felt great. These bastards were in my home and each one of them deserved a bullet.

So yeah, the zombie parade is gone and Home Base is clear of zombies. I’m sitting here in the basement because it is the only place I know right now with working doors. I’m eating a quick lunch of green peas and cold Pepsi and then I am getting to the real work.

I need a new place to live.