February 24th

This is Jimmy Varn and I am really pissy.

I kept the generator running off and on last night. When I got cold, I turned the space heaters on. I should be rationing the gas more but fuck it. I am pissed. I am tired of being cold.

I keep the guns ready. Every time I turn the generator on, I half want the zombies to notice and invade the basement.

I want Annie in front. I want to kill that bitch first.

I feel all this hatred for her and Chuck. After being alone for so long, it infuriates me that people would look at the apocalypse as a chance to fuck someone over. I keep going back into the room and looking at all that crap. I toy with the idea that maybe Chuck was some sort of secret submissive, but I don’t buy it. There was a reason they kept locking me in my room. They wanted me to get used to the idea.

My sleeping spot is right at the base of the stairs. As soon as they break in, I’ll know.

I am ready for death. It is a weird feeling. Maybe it was Crystal’s betrayal. Maybe it was Chuck and Annie’s perverted storeroom. Maybe I am just fucking sick of hiding. I keep entertaining ideas of how I am going to make my last stand. I am debating setting the gasoline up so they will explode. In videogames, this much gasoline in one place is just dying for an explosion.

I should mention that I haven’t slept much. I fall asleep exhausted but I keep waking up. The zombies are right upstairs and they keep walking. They aren’t quiet up there. It is like being under a major sidewalk. I hear them, and I know they are there at all times. I should sleep but it is so fucking hard when you might wake up to someone gnawing on your head, you know?

Really, I think I am just pissed off at everyone. Where the fuck is the government? CDC is in Atlanta for shit’s sake. You’d think we would hear something. You would think the National Guard would be out looking for people. I am pissed with my coworkers at the bookstore. If they hadn’t of been assholes about letting those poor kids die, I would have stayed with them and not be all alone. I am pissed with Crystal. If she wanted to stay a nomad, I would have fucking gone with her.

God damn all of you. I am tired of sitting in a basement waiting to die. I can’t do it all by myself. Shit, I already purify water, gather food and get gas out of gas stations. I shouldn’t have to die by myself too.